would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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