I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
