is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
