Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
only you would photoshop your dick
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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