shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
