I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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