Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
