I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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