FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
