dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
