hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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