Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize