we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize