therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
