What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
