Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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