is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
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I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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