every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
