who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
