White coat. Heels.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
