We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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