then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
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hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.