respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
