So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We left the knife in your bed.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
