I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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