Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
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