Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is it because I queefed?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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