I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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