do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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