just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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