it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
