how hairy? two words: wookie tits
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i dont even know how to be here
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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