It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
