please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
