The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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