Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
