you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
