I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
