I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
