So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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