i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
