pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Im part way to drunk.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
