She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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