Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
if only i could text you this smell
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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