Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize