she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
