do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
