on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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