It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize