I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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