we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
