Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
