i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
