That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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