you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
