Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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